Life Lessons

A transformational story of sorts.

Ten years ago, I was someone else. Then things started to change.

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

I sometimes go through a wave of emotions where I reminisce the past and cry (not cry, just a tinge of sadness) over some of the things I regret not doing, things that I could have done better, and the opportunities I may have missed. But the things I did do, does offset some of these regrets. That makes me a proud person.

A few of those are:

1. Letting people walk all over me. I never stood up for myself.
2. I did not take up courses that interested me in school and college. I wanted to study Psychology, English, History, Art etc.
3. I got into a design career too late. Not a big one, but it does pick on the brain at times.
4. I wanted people to like me. Serious. I was a people pleaser who craved attention. I don’t anymore.
5. I regret giving up on drawing and painting in between because studies got more critical.
6. I accepted defeat whenever something went wrong. I took no risks, had no courage and no focus, no idea what I wanted to do.
7. I was quiet. A little too slow. You can call it being invisible. I never wanted to be part of anything.
8. Low self-esteem. I felt I was a loser in life with no natural talent or abilities. I put little value on my thoughts and opinions.
9. Envious — of everyone doing better in life while I was not. How could things happen to them and not me, was the constant thought in my head.
10. I was not taking care of my health — physically and mentally. I became a giant ball with poor mental health.

Kind of a morbid list, isn’t it?

I am not any one of those now. Over the past few years, I made myself a promise that I would never be any of the above. Then all this happened:

1. I started standing up for myself.
2. I stopped comparing myself to others and kept myself on track to achieve the goals I set for myself.
3. I am proud of my design career now. It has been gratifying and exciting, from being a nobody to a Lead UX Designer in 7 years.
4. I started opening up whenever it was necessary. I realized I could talk :D
5. I take in defeat, criticism and ideas much better now. I am learning how to tackle them slowly.
6. I started drawing again. A friend who saw my work asked me to share it online — but I was scared. I started slow, paused for a few years and then restarted with a vengeance. Result? I am pretty popular on Instagram now. I have taken workshops, made videos, experimented with different materials, styles, and media, and continue to do so. Because of all this, multiple brand collaborations have come my way. I am so, so, so thankful I restarted my art.
7. I have taken up multiple courses in Writing, Design, Salesforce and plan on doing one in Psychology. It’s never too late to learn something new!
8. I don’t bother what people think of me anymore. Not many appreciate what I do, but it doesn’t even matter. I keep myself happy, and that’s important.
9. I started taking care of my health — mentally and physically. I started meditating a couple of weeks back. Workouts have become a daily part of my routine now. I walk, run, play badminton or table tennis in the morning and do a 15 min HIIT/Yoga session in the evening.

There are still a lot of things I need to improve on. But from what I used to be to who I am, there has been a drastic change. I am much happier now in all aspects — life, career, and health-wise. There are a few more things I need to take care of in the next few months — hopefully, those changes will have a significant impact on who I am as a person.

I didn’t change my personality much — I just changed my approach to life. I am still quiet, like my privacy and only speak when needed. But all those don’t stop me from achieving the goals I have set for myself. When I look back to what I was ten years ago and look at what I have done now, I give myself that pat on the back. I am proud of not giving up on myself. There are days when I feel I may not have done as much, but I don’t let those bother me now. I am taking things one day at a time — setting measurable goals, staying as productive as possible and taking that break when it’s needed.

If you are someone going through what I was, please talk to someone: a friend, family, neighbour, your therapist. Anyone who can help you out with what you are going through. Talking all those things out will make you feel better.

You can even talk to me. I am a good listener (I am not horn-tooting praising myself, but I generally am a good listener). You can reach out to me here on Medium or Instagram. Drop a message, and let’s have a conversation. We all need someone to talk to sometimes. Maybe I can be one of them?

Cheers :)